Twilight IM
by nothingatlpersonal
Summary: I know it's been done heaps of times, but I find them really funny so I wanted to do one of my own! Please R&R! Includes eventually all your favourite Twilight characters.
1. The zoooooooo!

**Okay, here is my 2nd Twilight fanfic!! **

**Here are the names:**

**Edward - I_Love_Lamb**

**Bella – LionsAREcold**

**Emmett – OMGaMONKEY**

**Rosalie – Red_Rose**

**Alice – Pixie_Psychic**

**Jasper – EmotionInMotion**

**Jacob - J_Wolfe**

**Carlisle – CarlizzleFoshizzle**

**You like? Let me know! I will eventually add other characters into it (as soon as I think of more screen names for them) =D **

* * *

_I_Love_Lamb has signed on_

_LionsAREcold has signed on_

_OMGaMONKEY has signed on_

**I_Love_Lamb: **Hello Bella, love, and I'm going to guess . . . Emmett? -_-

**LionsAREcold: **Hi Edward! And yea, I'm pretty sure it's Emmett.

**OMGaMONKEY: **Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehe

**LionsAREcold: **Emmett, why is ur name OMGaMONKEY?

**I_Love_Lamb: **I'm scared to find out

**OMGaMONKEY: **Rosie and I went to the zoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!

**LionsAREcold: **Uhhhhh, and you saw a monkey at the zoo Emmett?

**OMGaMONKEY: **Hehehe, I did more than SEE a monkey heeheehee

_Red_Rose has signed on_

**I_Love_Lamb: **Uh-oh

**LionsAREcold: **What?

**OMGaMONKEY: **AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_OMGaMONKEY has signed off_

**Red_Rose: **UUGGHHH EMMETT!!!!

**LionsAREcold: **Edward, what's going on??

**I_Love_Lamb: **I just found out why Rose's thoughts were all about burning Emmett for the past 6 hours

**Red_Rose: **I am NEVER going to the zoo with him EVER AGAIN!

**LionsAREcold: **Doesn't sound like it went too well.

**I_Love_Lamb: **Nope.

**LionsAREcold: **So do I get to hear what happened at the zoo?

**Red_Rose: **Emmett wanted to get a 'closer look' at the monkeys. -_-

**I_Love_Lamb: **He jumped into the monkey enclosure.

**LionsAREcold: **!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! o.O OMG

**Red_Rose: **ah YEA, so the zoo keepers come along to get him out, but he refused. He REFUSED!!!!! If I could blush, I would have been red as a tomato!

**LionsAREcold: **So how did they get him out?

**I_Love_Lamb: **Hahahahahahahahahah

**Red_Rose: **This is SO NOT funny Edward!

**I_Love_Lamb: **sorry. (heehee)

**LionsAREcold: **Hello?? Can you tell me what happened plz?

**Red_Rose: **Well, they eventually coaxed him out. . .

**LionsAREcold: **How did they coax him out? -_-

**Red_Rose: **With. . .

**LionsAREcold: **With???

**I_Love_Lamb: **heeheehee

**Red_Rose: **a . . . green tree snake

**LionsAREcold: **a green tree snake?? ^_-

**I_Love_Lamb: **LOLOLOLOL

**Red_Rose: **ARGH that's it! I'm going to find Emmett!

_Red_Rose has signed off_

**LionsAREcold: **Well that was . . . weird.

**I_Love_Lamb: **Yes, yes it was. But funny heehee

**LionsAREcold: **You love it when Rose gets embarrassed by Emmett, don't you?

**I_Love_Lamb: **Yes =D

**LionsAREcold: **That's horrible Edward, but it's Rose, so I guess u just think

**I_Love_Lamb: **meh.

**LionsAREcold: **You took the words right out of my . . . . . . . . . keyboard.

**I_Love_Lamb: **I'm bored. You home alone?

**LionsAREcold: **mayyybeeeeeee heh heh

_I_Love_Lamb has signed off_

**LionsAREcold: **Hey! Where are you . . . . . . OHHHH

_LionsAREcold has signed off_

**I hope you liked it!! And please please pretty please review!!!! And if you have any ideas for stuff they can do, let me know!**


	2. Jacob's overreaction and Baha Men

**Edward - I_Love_Lamb**

**Bella – LionsAREcold**

**Emmett – OMGaMONKEY**

**Rosalie – Red_Rose**

**Alice – Pixie_Psychic**

**Jasper – EmotionInMotion**

**Jacob - J_Wolfe**

**Carlisle – CarlizzleFoshizzle**

**And introducing.....**

**Le_dawg - Leah into the mix!**

* * *

_EmotionInMotion has signed in_

_J_Wolfe has signed in_

**J_Wolfe: **Hey this is kinda cool

**EmotionInMotion: **Yeah, it is

**J_Wolfe: **AHHH!! Who are you??

**EmotionInMotion: **-_- Jacob, you are REALLY slow, aren't you?

**J_Wolfe: **And how do you know my name???

**EmotionInMotion: **It's not that hard to figure out, you stupid dog.

**J_Wolfe: **=O Who told you that? What are you talking about? There are no dogs here! Umm . . . uhhh . . . ah . . .

_J_Wolfe has signed off_

**EmotionInMotion: **Umm . . . that was weird. Jacob is really stupid. Now I'm alone. :'(

**EmotionInMotion: **So alone . . . hmm . . . something to do . . . I know!

**EmotionInMotion: **Who let the dogs out? Who, who, who, who, who?

**EmotionInMotion: **Well, the party was nice, the party was pumpin'. Yippy yi yo

**EmotionInMotion: **And everybody havin' a ball. Yippy yi yo

**EmotionInMotion: **I tell the fellas start the name callin'. Yippy yi yo

**EmotionInMotion: **And the girls respond to the call. I heard a woman shout out

_I_Love_Lamb has signed on_

**EmotionInMotion: **Who let the dogs out? Who, who, who, who, who?

**EmotionInMotion: **Who let the dogs out? Who, who, who, who, who?

**I_Love_Lamb: **Umm . . .

**EmotionInMotion: **Who let the dogs out? Who, who, who, who, who?

_I_Love_Lamb has signed off _

**EmotionInMotion: **I see de dance people had a ball.

**EmotionInMotion: **Coz she really want to skip town

_Le_dawg has signed on_

**EmotionInMotion: **Get back, Gruffy, back, Scruffy

**Le_dawg: **Hey! Are you the guy who . . . um . . . knows stuff?

**EmotionInMotion: **Get back you flea infested mongrel!

**Le_dawg: **=o you do? So that's how it's going to be then? Well, bring it on!

**EmotionInMotion: **Gonna tell myself, "Hey man, no get angry"

**Le_dawg: **Don't worry, it'll make it all the easier for me

**EmotionInMotion: **Yippy yi yo

**Le_dawg:** Ur happy about that?

**EmotionInMotion:** To any girls callin' them canine

**Le_dawg:** So ur not gonna get angry at me? ^_-

**EmotionInMotion:** Yippy yi yo

**Le_dawg: **Ugh that's it! I'm coming to find you!

**EmotionInMotion: **But they tell me, "Hey man, it's part of the party"

**Le_dawg: **I have my ways!

**EmotionInMotion: **yippy yi yo

_Le_dawg has signed off_

**EmotionInMotion: **ok I'm bored with this now . . . hmm what's all that 'Le_dawg' stuff . . .

**EmotionInMotion: **Oh. CRAP.

_EmotionInMotion has signed off . . . and is now running for his life._

_J_Wolfe has signed on_

**J_Wolfe: **Leah no! Wait! I figured out who it is . . .

**J_Wolfe: **ooops.

_J_Wolfe has signed out_

* * *

**Please review!! And if you have any ideas, feel free to tell me!**


	3. Emmett not the hyper one?

Emmett... not the hyper one..? 

**Hello, I was bored so I randomly wrote this. It took about 2 minutes... hehe enjoy and review! [although it's pretty crap]**

**Edward - I_Love_Lamb**

**Bella – LionsAREcold**

**Emmett – OMGaMONKEY**

**Rosalie – Red_Rose**

**Alice – Pixie_Psychic**

**Jasper – EmotionInMotion**

**Jacob - J_Wolfe**

**Carlisle – CarlizzleFoshizzle**

**Le_dawg – Leah**

* * *

_OMGaMONKEY has signed on  
LionsAREcold has signed on_

**OMGaMONKEY**: Hey Bella!

**LionsAREcold**: Mooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!

**OMGaMONKEY**: So that's how its gna be, is it? Well then moooooooooooooooooooooo to you too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**LionsAREcold**: =o Why thank you Emmett, I didn't know you could speak cow. How nice of you to say.

**OMGaMONKEY**: Umm.... yes of course...

**LionsAREcold**: RAWR!!! I can speak lion too! ;)

**OMGaMONKEY**: hehe..... RAWR!!!!

**LionsAREcold**: Well, I'm glad to hear you feel that way.

**OMGaMONKEY**: ...?

**LionsAREcold**: Boing!!

**OMGaMONKEY**: Boing?

**LionsAREcold**: Now I'm speaking kangaroo!!

**OMGaMONKEY**: Wow, Bella you sure know a lot of different languages...

**LionsAREcold**: Yes, I have such a wide vocabulalary....

**OMGaMONKEY**: Vocabulary

**LionsAREcold**: QUACK!!

**OMGaMONKEY:** And quack to you too.

**LionsAREcold**: LOL Emmett ur so funny!!

**OMGaMONKEY**: I am? Oh YEAH! Of course I am!!

**LionsAREcold**: Heehee. Oink!!

**OMGaMONKEY**: Oh! And now you can speak pig! That's great Bells! Oink!

**LionsAREcold**: =O I hope you have a cream for that....

**OMGaMONKEY**: ......? Oh never mind. I need to.... go now.... umm goodbye! Mooooooooo!!!! RAWR! Boing!! Quack! Oink!!

**LionsAREcold**: Okay, bye Emmett, thank you!

**OMGaMONKEY**: Hehe, you're welcome. Neigh!!

_OMGaMONKEY has signed off_

**LionsAREcold**: Okay, now that's just mean.


	4. A Lesson In Geography

**Edward - I_Love_Lamb**

**Bella – LionsAREcold**

**Emmett – OMGaMONKEY**

**Alice – Pixie_Psychic**

**Jasper – EmotionInMotion**

_LionsAREcold has signed in  
OMGaMONKEY has signed in  
Pixie_Psychic has signed in  
EmotionInMotion has signed in_

**OMGaMONKEY: **Hiii guys!!!!

**LionsAREcold: **Heey Emmeyy! Jaspy! ALICE!

**OMGaMONKEY: **=o hey why does Alice get all caps???

**LionsAREcold: **Cuz I can

**Pixie_Psychic: **hahahaha hi guys! ^-^

**EmotionInMotion: **Hello all :) Bella – don't call me Jaspy -_-

**OMGaMONKEY: **can I call you Jaspy???

**EmotionInMotion: **NO!

**Pixie_Psychic: **Can I call you Jaspy?? 8D

**EmotionInMotion: **Hmmm....

**Pixie_Psychic: ***puppy dog pout*

**EmotionInMotion: **GAH! OKAY!

**OMGaMONKEY: **Aw! Pfft just bcuz she Bangkok you

**LionsAREcold: **. . . . . o.O

**EmotionInMotion: **Emmett . . . . . did you just use a . . . pun?!?!?

**LionsAREcold: **dun dun DUN!

**Pixie_Psychic: **ahahahahaha

**OMGaMONKEY: **Why yes, yes I did 8D

**LionsAREcold: **Wow Emmett . . . you said something smart! OMG!

**OMGaMONKEY: **^_^

**EmotionInMotion: **Pfft . . . his brain is still Micronesian

**Pixie_Psychic: **=D

**LionsAREcold: **HA! I get it!

**EmotionInMotion: **. . . -_-

**OMGaMONKEY: **Well your Bahrain is poo

**Pixie_Psychic: **He did it again!! Jaspy, I'm scared. . .

**LionsAREcold: **Ow!

**Pixie_Psychic: **Ow? Why ow??

**LionsAREcold: **Iran . . . and fell ^-^

**Pixie_Psychic: **heehee!

**EmotionInMotion: **o.O

**LionsAREcold**: Ima goo . . . I'm Hungary! 8D

**EmotionInMotion: **I'll help you!

_LionsAREcold has signed off  
EmotionInMotion has signed off_

**Pixie_Psychic: **So Emmett, Kenya do it again?? Use a pun??

**OMGaMONKEY: **I don't know. I guess it comes naturally =D

**Pixie_Psychic: **Oh . . . my . . . GOODNESS!!! I just came up with the PERFECT PUN!!!!

**OMGaMONKEY: **WHAT IS IT THEN?!?!?!

**Pixie_Psychic: **I'm not telling you, it's for Edward, and I want it to be a surprise!

**OMGaMONKEY: **Aw, okay.

**Pixie_Psychic: **Just don't say ANYTHING!

_I_Love_Lamb has signed on_

**I_Love_Lamb: **Hello, I heard you calling me . . . what's up?

**Pixie_Psychic: **EDWARD! I've figured it out!

**I_Love_Lamb: **Figured what out??

**Pixie_Psychic: **Uruguay!

**I_Love_Lamb: **. . .um excuse me?

**Pixie_Psychic: **Uruguay!!

**I_Love_Lamb: **Uhh . . okaaayyy . ..

**Pixie_Psychic: **Do you agree?? Uruguay???

**I_Love_Lamb: **Um . . . I guess so . . .

**Pixie_Psychic: **Okay! That's all I needed to know!

**I_Love_Lamb: **. . . o.O . . . good. . bye . . then . . .

_I_Love_Lamb has signed off_

**OMGaMONKEY: **That was genius!!! LOLOLOLOLOL

**Pixie_Psychic: **Hahahahha thats what I do!

**OMGaMONKEY: **I wonder when he'll figure it out?

**Pixie_Psychic: **This is Edward we're talking about – OH WAIT...

**OMGaMONKEY: **Yes Alice, this IS Edward we're talking about!

**Pixie_Psychic: **Aw well

**OMGaMONKEY: **Hehe... Uruguay, that was a good one

**Pixie_Psychic:** ^_^

**OMGaMONKEY**: Hey! There's a place called Alice Springs!

**Pixie_Psychic:** I don't Bolivia!

**OMGaMONKEY:** Well you should! It's in Australia! **(Where I'm from! =D but I don't live in Alice Springs... lol)**

**Pixie_Psychic: **Awesome!

**OMGaMONKEY: **Oman! Jaspy tried to make toast for Bella and now the smoke alarm is going off!

**Pixie_Psychic: **=O Norway!

**OMGaMONKEY: **...we're on the same house, Alice! O.O

**Pixie_Psychic: **...no we're not....

_EmotionInMotion has signed in_

**EmotionInMotion: **hehe... hey guys

**Pixie_Psychic: **Jasper Whitlock Hale Cullen I hope you did not ruin anything in Esme's kitchen!

**EmotionInMotion: **....Noo.....

**OMGaMONKEY: **What'd Jamaica?

**EmotionInMotion: **...It WAS meant to be toast...

**Pixie_Psychic: **Hey! That's a gd one Emmett!

**OMGaMONKEY: **8D heh

**Pixie_Psychic: **Hmm... I'm gonna take Bella SHOPPING!

*Bella elsewhere: NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_Pixie_Psychic has signed out_

**OMGaMONKEY: **Hey Jaspy..? =D

**EmotionInMotion: ***sigh.. yes Emmett?

**OMGaMONKEY: **Wanna wrestle???

**EmotionInMotion: **Hmmm... OKAY!

_OMGaMONKEY has signed out  
EmotionInMotion has signed out_

_I_Love_Lamb has signed in_

**I_Love_Lamb: **WAIT! ALICE! I GET IT NOW! DAMMIT, I'M NOT GAY!

* * *

**Teehee.. you likeey? If anyone is offended by the use of the names of any of the countries... I'm sorry, it wasn't intended.**

**Just in case you didn't get some of them; here is what I meant for each of the puns to mean 8D**

**Micronesia - micro = small  
Bahrain - brain  
Bolivia - Believe ya  
Hungary - hungry (kinda obvious lol)  
Iran - I ran (also obvious)  
Kenya - Can ya  
Norway - no way  
Oman - Oh man  
Bangkok - ... I'm not writing what that means -_- you should be able to figure that one out for yourselves ;)  
Uruguay - Ur u gay! (Ur gay... work it out :D)**

REVIEW!!!!!


End file.
